Everyone who comes into my home relaxes.

For a long time I never actually thought about it. It’s just my home. This was just how I lived and how I wanted to welcome people - somewhere that was cosy, relaxed, they felt they could take their shoes off and put their feet on the sofa - no standing on ceremony and food that would never make a table in a restaurant - but was hearty and wholesome and left clean plates all round.

I’m currently in an apartment and my teenage nephews love it. I never understand why - they just tell me ‘ah you just make it cosy. Feels nice and relaxed.’

It has taken me a long time to understand that I hadn’t invented this. That I was, in fact, remembering it.

What got interrupted

Somewhere around 1850, my ancestors were working land in Ireland. If you go back far enough in your own family history - your ancestors probably did too.

They marked the seasons - but because their lives depended on understanding when to plant, when to harvest, when to wait.

Then the rents were raised and they were put off their land. The generations that followed, had to then survive. This was a completely different survival because they were dependent on a system to support them and not the land they came from, or the one they would return to when they passed.

You don’t pass down the old ways when you’re trying to keep the family fed in a city that wasn’t built for you. You don’t teach your children to read the seasons when the seasons don’t matter anymore. You teach them how to survive in the system - the shift, the factory, the wage.

The ‘knowing’ from the previous life didn’t die. It just stopped being talked about.

Before the calendar was ever a grid

My ancestry is Celtic. Again - these traditions are applicable to indigenous races everywhere.

The Celts didn’t mark beginnings on the first of January, which is an entirely arbitrary date appointed by Caesar - I’ve written a blog on this (insert link to blog). The Celts marked time by the land. The four festivals mark real turning points in what the land and body are doing:

• Imbolc (February) - the midpoint between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox - the first stirring of life.

• Beltane (May) marked the time on the farming calendar for cattle to be driven out to summer pastures.

• Lughnasadh (August) marked the beginning of harvest season - a time for feasting, storytelling, and giving thanks for what the land had given.

• Samhain (November) the Celtic new year, when the hearth fires were extinguished and relit from the communal bonfire.

These weren’t some little quaint traditions. They were a way of reading the earth, by people who paid close attention, for thousands of years.

None of this happened in temples. It happened in kitchens and at bedsides and on hillsides and around fires.

I wrote an instagram post recently about returning to Ireland.

My parents would pack us in a car every Friday and drive over the border in the 70s and 80s’ with a car full of kids to escape the ‘noise’.

My granda told us to run round the field for an hour to get some fresh air and build an appetite for dinner. Dinner was always the same. Bacon, cabbage and potatoes. He made it every day of his life. One sliver of bacon, a big spoon of cabbage and a huge pot of boiled potatoes in their skin placed on the table with a knob of butter.

After dinner they would tell us stories of our ancestors working the land, the faeries and how if you visited a faerie ring you would disappear for years and come back the same age but everyone else would have moved on. They told us stories of meeting people on the way back from the market only to get home and find the person had died - they had met their spirit. And how the black dog that chased my granda from the church graveyard as a nipper was actually the devil. (no wonder we’re not right in the head).

But my grandparents weren’t telling folk tales about imaginary creatures. They were preserving history (The Tuatha Dé Danann were Ireland’s original divine race) in which the ‘divine’ had retreated into the landscape and still moved through it - diminished by centuries of Christianity but never gone.

To this day there are fairy circles left unmolested in farmers’ fields despite being in the way of planting, because the folklore record is full of what happens to those who dare destroy the abode of the good folk.

Strangely, but not surprisingly, I was able to trace the place of my ancestors back to a field with the help of census records. Beside that field is a fairy mound with trees around it in a circle. I searched for it on google maps - it’s still there today.

The knowledge in the hands.

The women who held the community together years ago were respected for their knowledge, healing practices, and mystical rituals. Those celtic traditions believe that everything has a spirit - ancestor reverence, seasonal festivals, and the natural cycles of the earth.

The point is that it wasn’t separate from ordinary life - It was ordinary life. The blessing said over the bread. The herbs hung to dry after Midsummer. The fire tended with prayer. The kettle was put on before a word was spoken.

In the old Celtic household, the hearth was the centre of the home. ‘Anam’ meaning soul. Literally. It was never put out and keeping it alight was an act of both practicality and devotion. Is this where we get the term ‘holding a light?’

The kitchen witch, in Celtic tradition, is a woman who understands that everything in her domain - the fire, the food, the home, the crossing of seasons. She doesn’t need a place to worship separate from her daily life. Her daily life is the ritual space.

She knows that the way you make something, the attention you bring, the intention underneath the action, changes what comes out the other side. Cooking with love? Tastes much better than a load of stuff shoved in a pot.

With the emergence of Christianity and the decline of Celtic paganism, the church became afraid of their practices and were suddenly at risk of being accused of witchcraft. The very practices that had once brought healing and community support were now seen as crimes.

The kitchen witch - what it actually means

The kitchen witch is simply that woman - a ‘High Priestess of the Ordinary’ - specifically located in the hearth, the home, the daily act of nourishing. To my knowledge she doesn’t wear a pointy hat or have a big cauldron - but she might have a pot on the open fire.

At its core, kitchen witchery is about finding magic in the mundane - infusing everyday tasks with intention and spiritual significance. The kitchen witch sees the kitchen not just as a place to prepare meals, but as a sacred space where nourishment, healing, and protection are cultivated.

My ancestors weren’t superstitious telling tales. They were the living carriers of a tradition.

Then the famine came. The rents were raised and they were driven off the land. They moved to Belfast in search of work. The connection to the specific physical places - the fairy forts in the fields, the hawthorn trees, the mounds - was severed.

But they kept telling the stories. At the dinner tables. To me.

The person I was becoming without knowing it

Nobody taught me to cook the way I cook. I don’t follow recipes much - I follow instinct, season, what’s in the kitchen, what feels right for the day. I cook to nourish, not to impress.

I didn’t set out to make my home feel the way it feels. I didn’t read a book about creating warmth or follow someone’s advice about ambience. I just... made a home.

And it was only when I quit corporate life in 2023 and started slowing down that I found myself in my kitchen, actually present, still.

This wasn’t just cooking. This was a practice.

Êhe kitchen is everything in a house to me. If I had the tiniest space in the world I’ll still have to have a big kitchen. The attention I bring to a pot of soup, the satisfaction of feeding someone something that makes them feel held. It has a lineage. It goes back much further than me.

I had been a kitchen witch without knowing the word for it.

What we’re finding our way back to

I’m not unique in this. Something is stirring in a lot of women around my age - women in their late forties and fifties who spent decades running in a system that they were never built for or wired for. Now, in this strange second chapter, many are finding themselves drawn back toward something simpler. Living seasonally, by the moon, holding community for other women - not pitching ourselves against each other like meat. Many realising that fitting in a patriarchal system was never their dream - that was their mothers dream to lead within the system - to win. To be equal to the men. But we are equal. We just don’t need to fight for it. None of us do. We can exist together, like we always have.

This is not a trend. This is not wellness culture repackaging ancient wisdom in linen and ceramic. This is something older moving through us; Recognising itself in our hands, in our kitchens, in the way we instinctively turn toward the hearth when the light goes.

We didn’t lose it. It was just waiting.

The cycle breaker

There’s a term for someone who interrupts a pattern that’s run through a family for generations. Cycle breaker - the person who stops carrying what wasn’t theirs to carry and starts recovering what was lost.

I used to think of that in terms of the harder things. The survival patterns. But cycle breaking goes both ways. You can break the painful cycles and recover the good ones. The ones that got interrupted not because they were wrong but because circumstances meant they couldn’t continue.

My ancestors tended land and marked seasons and made homes that nourished. They lost that life through no fault of their own. The generations between us did what they had to do.

And now, without anyone telling me to, I find myself (subconsciously) doing the thing they did - feeding people with care, tending the hearth, following the rhythm of the year without quite knowing why it matters.

I’m not reinventing anything. I’m returning. But as the oldest of a big family and parentified young, add to that 30 years in corporate - one of the biggest challenges I’m facing is how to receive. I’m used to holding everything together - like my ancestors. But I have no concept of receiving. The feminine is about receiving. I don’t mean sitting on your backside and being handed things but accepting with grace things that come to you. This is an alien concept.

So, being a cycle breaker for me isn’t just about recovering the soup and the seasons. It’s about breaking the pattern of the woman who holds everything for everyone else but doesn’t know how to let herself be held. It’s about learning that I can tend the hearth and still be allowed to sit by the fire.

This isn’t about moving back to a field in Ireland - feck me, I’ve been a corporate VP, I like expensive bedding and turning left on a long haul flight - this is about bringing that field, that rhythm, and that fire into the life I am building right now.

The land my ancestors worked in is in the past. But the practice - the attention, the warmth, the kitchen as sacred space - that I can hold. In the 21st century with running water and electricity. That I am holding.

And now I know that I am. I am the cycle breaker.

I am coming home.

(wearing jeans and trainers - no pointy hat and cauldron here)

The first is anxiety. The physical sensation of dread. My niece when she was tiny used to call them the ‘tickles in her tummy’.

I’m talking about the latter. The one that doesn’t scream ‘burnout’ and that’s because you’re still functioning, still delivering, still turning up to the meetings and saying all the right things. Externally and to your conscious brain - you’re fine. Subconsciously and realistically - you know you’re not. You just haven’t admitted it yet.

I know this feeling well. I ignored the warning signs and went with my default ‘push through’ for years. Anything else was weakness. I couldn’t afford to be ‘weak’.

I remember one day in work a few years back being approached about a global position. I had wanted it for 3 years - Jees I was even doing the damn global role. I remember very clearly the phone call from my boss asking me if I wanted to go for the position.

I can tell you, that the words coming out of my mouth were not what was going through my brain: ‘If it’s ok, I want to pass..’

My brain was as dumbfounded as my boss. ‘WTF are you doing you crazy woman…..’. But those words came out more calm than the dead sea, with no explanation or rationale. I didn’t think any more about it and moved on.

I know a year or two later I had been chasing a role as a VP. I got the role. From I got the offer, my new boss was chasing me every week telling me what she needed me to do. I was still working my notice for the existing company. Every bone in my body was screaming ‘ALARM!” - but I pushed it down - I could handle it. This is what I wanted. This was the price to pay.

I remember on the first day a friend texting me and asking how the new role was - I responded ‘time will tell….’ - she told me later, that response said everything. Six months later - those very signs came true.

I had tried to resign on a work trip and my boss said no. Then I went on holiday and they (work) were contacting me whilst on holiday - my friend took my phone off me. I then got home and was still working crazy hours - it was the week before Christmas when I reached breaking point. I remember on Friday 23 December, I was still on a call with the CEO at 6pm and I had no Christmas decorations up. I finished the call and poured a glass of wine.

Christmas eve and Christmas day passed wonderfully - but it was Boxing day when I woke up to what I can only describe as a lighting flash thought ‘wtf are you doing with your life’ - it was also the calmest feeling in the world. I called my oldest friend, she came over and within a few hours I had emailed my resignation to my boss.

The rest is the start of the next part of my life.

What I understand now that I couldn’t see then is that my body had been registering ‘no’ for months (years) before my mind was willing to hear it. ‘Stop crying and get over yourself’.

The dead sea calm when I passed on the role was a sign. It wasn’t the first time it had happened but I never connected the dots.

The alarm bells working my notice after the VP offer landed was also a sign - I ignored.

The friend taking my phone, the grinding through December - all resilience.

My nervous system had been overridden so many times it had stopped expecting to be listened to.

It’s essentially functional freeze.

There is no dramatic collapse or breakdown - it’s just you in an endless competent, high-functioning version of being completely disconnected from yourself. I think the scene in Inside Out 2, where anxiety loses control at the controls frames this very well.

The job or company didn’t cause it. Thirty years inside companies that rewarded ‘extra’ and ‘more’ and penalised anything else as ‘weakness’ had trained me to treat my own signals as noise. I was a machine.

The lightning bolt on Boxing Day morning wasn’t a breakdown, health issue or burn out. It was just a sign that I couldn’t go on this way any more - and at 7am that Boxing Day morning, something very light caught my brain’s attention - ’ENOUGH.’

The point is that the body keeps score long before the mind is ready to acknowledge the tally. And I’m sharing this because we all have feelings that we very often ignore, but most of us are trained in the art of pushing through and not listening.

As I write this, I have something bubbling behind the scenes - and I’m equal measures scared and excited. I said to a friend the other day ‘Do I believe this is going to work out? Yes absolutely. No part of my body feels panicked by that. Am I scared Feck yes’ - and the tickles start again.

But I now know the difference.

We’ve just had International Women’s day. It turned into a sea of ‘congratulations to the strong women’ posts from men, ‘these are the women who made me strong’ from women and ‘we need to do more for equality’.

In my day, I would have agreed with all of these. Now I’m questioning things a bit more.

Over the last lot of years I have slowed down….. I am still very young at heart, don’t panic about me researching retirement homes just yet. But as I approached the menopause, I started with an interest in how my body was reacting to lunar cycles. Then I looked at the links with astrology…. And I really dived deep in understanding my birth chart. (Your birth chart is a screen shot of the sky when you were born and it’s interesting how planetary shifts today affect the placement of signs, houses and planets when you were born.)

I’ve always loved the countryside - this might seem like a segway, but bear with me. I lived in the countryside for 12 years - but sold my home because I realised it was the right environment, but while I was working 12-14hr days in a corporate job, I wasn’t benefitting. I’m ready to go back - and my time will come. But I realised that being in the countryside afforded me a feeling of freedom - that 7 year old parentified oldest sibling who used to go to her grandparents cottage at weekends in the 70s and 80s and run round the fields and lanes. I didn’t have to look after anyone - I could just be free. I also realised through digging into my family tree how my ancestors worked the land. They lost that land after the famine and the land rents went up, and maybe I was the one returning full cycle.

That countryside living made me think about seasonal eating and seasonal living and how the planet provides us with what we need to live through the seasons….. Lighter fruit and veg for summer as it’s more bountiful and fuller, heavier root veg for the winter as it’s more scarce and has to last us longer.

Those seasons are tied to the movements of planets. Yet in our patriarchal world we dismiss this ancient knowledge. People lived this way for thousands of years - all over the world. The church has been around since 100AD. The industrial revolution which is the start of how we work today is 1790. We as humans and the planets have been around a lot longer. Have we learnt nothing?

So, why are we so dismissive? Fear. If you can’t control it, it has to be unknown and if it’s unknown - be afraid.

That fear has a history. And it was very deliberately constructed.

I don’t want to turn this into a history lesson but it’s clear to see that the patriarchal system is no longer working. This is not an anti-men post, this is about balance. I know plenty of men who hate this system too. You need men and women, masculine and feminine energy for balance. Everything in life is about balance. But a system that leans too heavily on one side at the risk of the opposite side has to eventually fall. I believe that’s what’s happening right now.

As women, we didn’t get equality. What we got was access to a system that was never built for us. And we’ve been competing within it ever since instead of rebuilding what was lost.

The witch trials killed some 40,000-60,000 people - 75-80% of those executions were women. They specifically targeted women who owned land, women who held knowledge outside the church’s control and who were autonomous. To survive after this, women turned on each other. They accused their neighbours and testified against their friends out of fear. The smear campaign worked. Witches = evil/ bad. If you were associated with a witch, you were next. So women learned that other women were dangerous. That standing together was a risk. That it was safer to tear down than to protect.

We’ve been doing it ever since.

But we are also given an in-built warning system. Our intuition. Over the last several hundred years we have overridden that warning system completely - and so today we are constantly on the search for external validation and recognition over internal knowing. Trust me - this is a difficult one to regain and I’m working on mine EVERY DAY.

If we look at how indigenous cultures are supported now - I accept there is still a long way to go - yet the average person in the west, if they mentioned doing anything seasonal, intuitive, natural that people think you are dabbling in the occult. Remember witch = bad.

Is something shifting?

There is a whole dimension that’s been missing from our way of living: Depth, cyclical thinking, rest. We’re burnt. We’re all burnt from this system we’re living in - men are burnt in this system too.

There is a real hunger for spirituality at present - in various forms - the return to seasonal living, herbalism, somatic practices, circles, land connection. The Taoists had it. Many indigenous traditions have it. The celtic and feminine mystery traditions had it, before they were burned. It keeps getting rediscovered and keeps getting suppressed. It feels more like our nervous systems are remembering something it was never supposed to forget.

We were gifted a planet with rivers, trees and natural resources - yet somehow we chose to invent debt, political parties and war.

But what if we were to return to that way of living….. In alignment with the planet we live on, looking after it, eating seasonally, slowing down in winter, eating whole foods. I fully accept there has to be balance. We’re in the 21st Century and we might all love a glass of wine or slice of cake that’s ok - let’s not become too extreme the other way.

I go back to the idea I had at the beginning of writing this piece about witches and the term witch. I can wax lyrical about the seasonal stuff - but the area I want to look at is the ‘fear’ associated with the term witch. A witch is a wise person in the community - by modern standards, many of us are. Perhaps there’s a 21st century way of looking at a witch? A person of seasonal living, grounded, listening and relying on their own intuition. That’s not radical thinking - that’s just remembering - like our nervous system. Is astrology waking us up to that again?

This blog has gone on long enough for now - so I’ll come back with more.

I am hopeful that the internet is actually providing us with a platform for wider non-hierarchial living and maybe this time the suppression isn’t working as well as it used to.

The Astrology - A Reference Point

I’m not asking you to believe in astrology. I’m asking you to consider that civilisations far older and arguably wiser than ours tracked these cycles for thousands of years, and that the patterns are hard to ignore.

We are currently living through a convergence of planetary cycles that has no modern precedent. Make of that what you will.

Pluto in Aquarius (2024—2043) The last time Pluto was in Aquarius was 1778 - 1798. That window gave us the French Revolution, the American Revolution, the birth of the Industrial Revolution and the entire reshaping of what the people meant in relation to power. Pluto takes 248 years to complete its cycle - long enough that no living person remembers the last time. Which is partly why each generation experiences it as unprecedented.

The USA is currently going through its first ever Pluto return - Pluto returning to the exact degree it occupied at the founding in 1776. That happens once in a civilisation’s history. Empires tend to either transform or collapse at their Pluto return. Rome is the obvious example.

The Aries Vortex (2025—2026) Neptune entering Aries, Saturn entering Aries, Uranus entering Gemini, Pluto in Aquarius - five planets changing signs simultaneously. Astrologers argue this hasn’t happened in over 500 years.

Neptune was last at 1° Aries during the American Civil War. Uranus was entering Gemini when the USA joined World War II. Saturn in Aries has historically marked the moment idealism meets hard reality - the 60s dream collapsing into assassinations and crushed uprisings (1967 - 69), the machinery of fascism consolidating across Europe (1937 - 40).

Saturn in Aries is essentially the universe stress-testing new beginnings.But Saturn is about rules and discipline, ‘not so fast - show me if this is real’. Saturn was last in Aries 1996 - 1999 and 1967 - 1969. Those periods gave us:

1996 - 1999: Dolly the sheep, the internet going mainstream, the dot com bubble beginning, the Good Friday Agreement

1967 - 1969: MLK and RFK assassinated, the Apollo programme, the 60s dream hitting hard reality

The Saturn-Neptune conjunction, February 2026 These two meet at 0° Aries is the Vernal Equinox point - the very beginning of the entire zodiac - what astrologers call a world degree, marking new beginnings. The first breath. So a conjunction happening there is categorically different from one happening anywhere else in the chart.

These two haven’t met at this point for 6000 years. Saturn is structure, discipline, the old order. Neptune is dissolution, vision, the thing that can’t be contained. When they meet, what was built on illusion tends to fall. What was real tends to survive and harden.

This feels significant in the context of everything this blog is exploring.

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I recently met a woman at a networking event and we talked about how women when they get older start looking for meaning and purpose in life - I accept this is not exclusive to women, but I reckon the menopause has something to do with it? Anyway - we digress. During the course of our conversation we continued chatting about our businesses and she mentioned how she puts a trouser suit on to go into a room with men because it helps her feel like she’s on a level playing field with them. I nodded along but cannot explain the overwhelming guttural feeling that rose inside of me - It was an equal measure of feeling horrified and genuine surprise.

And in honour of the Carrie Bradshaw, I couldn’t help but wonder ‘do people still do that in 2026?’

I remember in my early career I was working for a large tech corporate. The women had a very definitie uniform. It was voluntary, but everyone had it - the sector was so male led in those days. It consisted of 2 charcoal grey/ navy or black T M Lewin trouser suits, 5 x dress shirts with double cuffs and cufflinks and the obligatory 2-3 inch heels. I felt like I could conquer the world in those days.

But a redundancy in 2013 led me to ceremoniously dumping all of those clothes and I swore never to wear them again - I haven’t. I have been smart for meetings - I’m not saying don’t be - but I refuse to wear a suit to make me feel equal to a man. I am fortunate, no man has ever judged me since for not doing so (that I’m aware of).

When it comes to what we wear for work, we don’t think about our clothes as a ‘uniform’ unless there is an actual uniform - the nurses, the police, the people whose employer literally chooses what they wear. But the rest of us are actually wearing one too.

We’ve just been told it’s a choice. It isn’t really.

The suit. The blazer. The ‘smart casual’ look (jeans and a collared shirt was my work uniform in latter years in corporate). The heels that add two inches of authority. The watch that says ‘look at how good I am’. The whole performance of professional belonging is so normalised that you stop actually noticing it. You just fit in. And that is the whole point - the organisation doesn’t want you to be you. It needs you to fit in with everyone else. It always has.

Take a wee second to think about getting dressed in the morning? Is it ‘you’ - or the ‘work you’? I often remember sitting in the car park outside the office and thinking ‘ok. Game Face.’ - I didn’t realise it then, but I see it now. Hindsight and all that.

Now before we dive down a rabbit hole against work clothes - they do serve a purpose. You are there in a professional capacity. The organisation does have its own persona (brand) - and for years I would turn up to work professionally dressed, because I didn’t want anyone thinking I didn’t care.

But then came covid. That changed everything. I was fortunate at the time to work for a company that embraced everyone showing up at home in a t-shirt (make-up was optional). After only a matter of weeks it was commonplace to turn up to a call to see C-suite execs sitting at home with no make-up and wearing a hoodie.

Covid also demonstrated something else - we were all able to do our job effectively and remotely in a t-shirt with no make-up. We have been working at home so long now that for a lot of people having to ‘get dressed’ was something no one wanted anymore.

The crossover of companies taking over your ‘at home’ existence was when people started to push back. Initially, you could operate at home and bake banana bread and go for walks, have time with your family and still get your job done. But then you were wanted on calls every minute of the working day and that meant having to do your day job outside of that - and that made people (rightfully) bitter. So the trek back to the office began - it was a slog at first, but I believe more people are embracing the split in their day again between being at home and working in the office.

Having worked in the tech sector from I was 25 years old, I am used to the remote environment. But what Covid really cracked open for a lot of people was the costume was now proven to be optional. You could still be competent, credible, capable - and get the job done.

Which raises an uncomfortable question about what the uniform was actually for? Did it protect you, or hide you?

Because those are not the same thing. One is allowing you to fit in and get your job done - take your salary and go home. The other is much worse - it’s keeping you in the dark like the Mer people under Queen Ursula in The Little Mermaid. They gave their voices when they sold their dreams to the ruthless sea witch - those poor unfortunate souls. Have you sold your voice to Queen Ursula in the guise of big corporate? I was definitely a Mer person - but I am definitely more Ariel getting my voice back. Just FYI - while I have reddy brown hair naturally - it has to be dyed now at my age. I also don’t have her figure.

There are so many people I have spoken to since I have left about who they are. Most have absolutely no idea who they are - not because they don’t have a job but because they lost the costume and with that their identity. Their career defined them.

Do you know who you are without your job?

I’ll be honest and say it took longer than I thought to connect the dots on what I wore to work over the years - but now I enjoy the pleasure of wearing exactly what I want.

I think about that woman I met - still performing, still seeking to fit in and be accepted. I feel sad for her - but maybe I shouldn’t because if she is consciously performing, then that’s up to her. I remind myself of a motto I use regularly: ‘you do you’.

Getting up and getting dressed every morning for work is a conscious choice you are making. Most people just don’t make it consciously. They make it the same way they make most decisions about their working life - on autopilot.

If you have forgotten why you are doing what you’re doing or just ‘drifting’ along then maybe you should take some time to think about your life and what you’re doing and what you’re trying to achieve. Do you really want your epitaph to be ‘they attended all the conference calls?’

I talk about leadership without self-awareness not being leadership - this applies whether you’re a leader or not - If you don’t know where you end and the role begins, you’re executing a function - but neither the role nor the clothes, should define you.

The uniform is not the problem. Forgetting you’re wearing one is.

As I write this, I am sitting in a pair of jeans and a jumper. I have washed my face and teeth - but my hair is scraped back and I’ve no make-up on. I did go through the phase of slobbing for a few weeks but the illusion wore off, and I always felt more human when I got dressed.

We live in a world that we have outsourced. Our decisions. Our identities. Our opinions on what to eat, how to parent, what to believe. We scroll, we follow, we download the app, buy the book, join the programme. We look to influencers, governments, bosses, gurus - anyone who looks like they’ve got it figured out.

And we’ve got so caught up outsourcing our lives that somewhere along the way we forgot who WE are, and what life WE actually want to live. That’s not a criticism. It’s just what happened. We got so busy fitting in and following the rules that we stopped asking whose rules they actually were.

The answer has never been out there. It’s always been in you. You have just got caught up in a society of ‘fitting in’ and outsourcing your needs that you forgot how to deal with things yourself. And that’s the actual problem.

I know that sounds like a pinterest quote - but stay with me, because I mean it differently than it sounds.

The pattern I keep seeing

You’ve got a decision to make.Let’s use work as an example. Your team needs direction, your CEO is breathing down your neck and you’ve got seventeen other fires burning and now this.

Now - I could give you a framework. Five steps. A decision matrix. Something that looks like help.

I won’t.

Instead I’ll ask you one thing: what happens if you get it wrong?

And that’s when it gets interesting. Because suddenly we’re not talking about the decision anymore. We’re talking about a lifetime of only being worth something when you get it right. About perfectionism so old and so baked in you can’t even see it’s there. About a child who learned that being good and doing it perfectly was how you stayed safe.

The decision was never the problem. It never is.

The CEO looking for help to figure out a solution because they don’t know the answer themselves? That’s your parents desperately searching for your user guide because nobody taught them how to do it either. There was no user manual. They were just someone doing their best with what they had.

The feeling of speaking in a room and watching people look straight through you? That’s the child who wasn’t heard at home.

The fury when someone less capable gets promoted ahead of you while you’re doing all the actual work? We’ve all been there. You put in the hard yards, hoping it would get you somewhere, only to realise ‘Lucy’ - who swans in and is useless - has got promoted.

That’s not really about Lucy.

That’s anger at yourself. For playing by rules nobody asked you to play by. For being the good, dutiful, hardworking one - because you were taught that was how it worked. That effort gets rewarded. That good things come to those who wait.

The system doesn’t always work like that. And somewhere deep down inside, you knew. You’re not angry at Lucy. You’re angry at yourself for believing it.

None of this is blame. It’s pattern recognition. The system outside is almost always just the system inside - wearing a different outfit.

Why most external answers fail

Most external answers are generic. It works for the average person in the average situation - which is probably not you, in your situation, with your particular flavour of chaos.

I had a young manager come to me for mentoring once. “I want to learn everything you know,” they said. So I started telling them stories. Every week, a different story. After a few sessions they piped up and said, “These are great, but when are we getting to crisis comms? How do I handle the CEO?”

It dawned on me - they were looking for tactics. I often think of the movie - The Karate Kid - when Daniel-san went looking for karate lessons. This time I was Mr Miyagi - teaching them to wash the car and paint the fence.

I explained that I always have a method in my madness and to trust the process. They did. They are now an exec themselves.

The thing is - tactics without self-awareness are just borrowed behaviour. They work until they don’t. Until you’re tired, or stressed, or the situation doesn’t quite match the framework and you’re standing there with a five-step plan that suddenly feels completely useless… and exhausted.

Same with diets, by the way. Eat once a day. Eat five times. Red meat. No meat. What worked brilliantly for your friend, may not work for you - so you do you.

One of my favourite things to do when someone says, ‘argh I can’t make a decision.’. I always say ok pick one - doesn’t matter which one, just pick one. How do you feel? There’s your answer. Your gut already knew. You were just hoping someone else would tell you so you didn’t have to own it.

So what now

People want answers because having to do the inner work takes time. I personally have spent many years looking at various practices to help me understand who I truly am. (Side note: I still get wound up by things and it’s not always easy to see in the heat of the moment - but on reflection - the answer is always there).

When you do this work - when you actually look - everything changes. When you see it clearly and you understand your own patterns - you can choose from that place of grounded authority. Even when you say ‘ oh I can’t’ ‘it’s not the right time’ ‘when the kids get older’ etc etc - those are still a choice. So own it.

We are given puzzles as children. Our brains were built to solve things. They help us solve problems. Somewhere along the way we got taught to fit in and as you got older you looked for an external solution that would help you fit in.

So, next time you are faced with a problem , take a step back and think ‘what is the lesson here’. The traffic lights turning red when you are in a hurry - is life saying slow down. The person who grates on your nerves - why do they grate on your nerves? What emotion is coming up?

Life is full of lessons - especially the annoying ones.

Everything starts with you. It always has.

It’s obvious which camp I fall into. But this isn’t just about honoring winter’s rhythms - there’s actual history here. And understanding how we got here might explain why 1st January has never felt like a fresh start.

The calendar we use today has roots in two pivotal moves made in service of empire.

• First up: Julius Caesar.

  The Julian calendar was created by Julius Caesar in 45 BC. He needed the year to start when the Roman Consuls took office and power transferred hands. So the format of the year was introduced as a result of a political administrative decision.

• Next up: Pope Gregory XIII

  The Gregorian calendar we live by today was reformed in 1582 by Pope Gregory because the Church couldn’t properly calculate Easter. The Julian calendar had miscalculated leap years for centuries, causing religious holidays to drift into wrong seasons. So Gregory removed 10 days from October 1582 - and called it ‘correcting natural order’. He literally just erased them.

But there was nothing natural about it. What it was, an institutional decision about how time would be standardised.

THE ILLOGIC BAKED INTO THE SYSTEM

But starting the year on 1st of January doesn’t actually make any biological or seasonal sense.

Firstly, in the Northern Hemisphere, we are in the dead of winter. Nothing is being born. Nothing is growing. The earth is dormant. Everything is in rest mode. And yet we’re told this is the moment for fresh starts? New you? Maximum energy and transformation?

The whole ‘New Year’s resolutions’ culture is built on a date that defies every natural rhythm on our planet.

Secondly, there’s the month structure: 28 days, 30 days, 31 days - these make no sense? But the Romans named months after their gods and emperors and just... made up lengths. July and August are both 31 days because Julius Caesar and Augustus Caesar both wanted long months named after themselves.

And we still live with that ego.

In addition to that, the calendar system as we know it requires constant correction - leap years, and special rules for century years (divisible by 400). It’s a calendar perpetually trying to fix its own dysfunction because it was never aligned with planetary movement to begin with.

HOW IT SPREAD: COLONISATION

This wasn’t a calendar the world chose. It spread through power rather than popular choice.

Catholic countries adopted it in 1582 because the Pope said so. Protestant countries resisted - mainly because they refused to follow a Catholic Pope’s decree. Britain held out until 1752. When they finally adopted it, they had to remove 11 days from September. People went to sleep on September 2nd and woke up on September 14th. There were riots. Landlords still charged full month’s rent.

People thought their lives were being shortened.

China adopted the Gregorian calendar in 1912 under political pressure to ‘modernise’ - but they kept celebrating Lunar New Year because that’s the calendar that actually makes sense.

The Gregorian calendar spread through the empire, through colonial administration: ‘this is how we do things now’. Not because it was better, but because it aligned with existing structures of power.

AND THEN CAME INDUSTRIAL CAPITALISM

The Gregorian calendar was step one. Industrial capitalism intensified its effects.

As Benjamin Franklin put it, ‘Time is money’ - a phrase that reflected a growing emphasis on productivity. Days came to be treated as equally efficient, regardless of season. No rest in winter. No slowdown in summer heat. The eight-hour workday. The five-day week. A culture of constant productivity.

Is it any wonder burnout is so common in Western culture?

We live by empire time on top of factory time, completely severed from how bodies and earth actually work. We’re supposed to be equally productive in January (deep rest season) and July (peak growth season). That’s a product of industrial scheduling, not natural rhythm.

This isn’t a critique of work or industry themselves, but of what happens when efficiency becomes the only measure of time.

SOME CULTURES RESISTED THE SECOND WAVE

But here’s a question - why have many Mediterranean cultures adopted the Gregorian calendar but still have long lunches, summer off etc? Look at Italy, Spain, Greece, Portugal.

They refused to let industrial time override their bodies.

They kept

• Siesta - you rest when it’s hot, you don’t push through.

• Long lunches - meals are social, seasonal, not fuel stops.

• August shutdown - the whole country closes because it’s too hot to work.

• Late dinners - you eat at 10pm when it cools down, not at 6pm because ‘that’s dinner time.’

They adopted the Pope’s calendar administratively. But they refused to let it override their bodies’ needs.

Northern Europe, Britain, America? We swallowed it whole. Productivity = über alles.

HOW OTHER CULTURES KEEP THE ACTUAL NATURAL ORDER

Chinese New Year (17 Feb, 2026) - is celebrated on the first new moon after the winter solstice. You can see it in the sky. It marks the transition from darkest cold toward returning light.

Nowruz - Persian New Year (20 March, 2026) - is celebrated at the spring equinox. Day and night are exactly equal. The earth is waking up. Seeds are sprouting. Energy is genuinely returning. This is rebirth.

Hindu New Year (varies) - Ugadi/Gudi Padwa are celebrated in spring, and Diwali in autumn. These are also tied to lunar cycles and harvest seasons - a connection to what the land is actually doing.

The 13-Moon Calendar - is used by various indigenous cultures and contemporary movements i.e. 13 months of exactly 28 days (13 x 28 = 364 days). Perfectly aligned with the lunar cycle. Perfectly aligned with the average menstrual cycle. Every month the same length. Predictable. Rhythmic. You can feel it in your body. This is why so many women feel attuned to the movement of the moon.

THE EASTERN/INDIGENOUS WORLDVIEW VS GREGORIAN CONTROL

There’s a fundamental difference in relationship to time:

Eastern and indigenous approaches: Time is cyclical. You observe what’s happening - moon phases, seasons turning, your body’s rhythms - and your calendar reflects that. You’re ‘in relationship’ with natural cycles.

Gregorian approach: Time is linear. Progress. The calendar is a tool to organise labour/ work, calculate taxes, coordinate empire across vast distances.

One philosophy says: attune, align, honor rhythm. The other says: measure, standardise, control.

THE VIOLENCE OF CALLING IT ‘NATURAL’

Violence might seem like a strong word - not physical violence, but a violence done to our ways of knowing and orienting ourselves in the world. But consider the assumptions baked into the language. We refer to ‘natural order’ in western culture, but there is nothing inherently natural about this version of order. They replaced lunar cycles and seasonal markers with a fixed system.

They called it ‘correcting the calendar’ when what needed correcting was their religious holiday calculations, not time itself. That’s the church asserting its authority over how time was measured - the very thing ‘god’ created.

Natural order would mean you look at the sky and know where you are in the year. You feel it in your body. You observe it in the earth around you.

The Gregorian calendar relies on institutions, authorities, synchronised devices to tell you what day it is. Is that natural?

SO WHAT’S MY POINT?

This isn’t about being all ‘woo’ or rejecting the ‘system’. This is about seeing the system and adapting to what works for you.

So, if you’re feeling disconnected from January 1st energy. There’s a reason for that.
You’re not lazy for not wanting to start fresh in the dead of winter.
You’re not failing when the productivity culture feels too much.

You’re just paying attention to what your body knows.

So start your year whenever it makes sense. Spring equinox when things actually come alive? Your birthday? The first new moon you notice and feel pulled by? Whenever your body says ‘yes, now’ instead of ‘I’m supposed to.’

The calendar we use is 2,000-year-old administrative system shaped by empire and colonisation, many of us wondering (daily) why we’re exhausted.

Time is a construct. Some constructs serve us. This one doesn’t always serve us as well as we assume.

References:

1. E.P. Thompson: Time, Work-Discipline, and Industrial Capitalism

2. Lewis Mumford: Technics and Civilization

3. Carlo Cipolla: Clocks and Culture

4. David Graeber: Debt: The First 5,000 Years

5. E.G. Richards: Mapping Time: The Calendar and Its History

2025 has turned out to be a foundation for me.

I wrote a book - hopefully getting published in 2026. I built my business infrastructure: freebies, offers, the backend systems that will help everything work. I continued my personal journey of inner work that I talk about but don’t always show. And somewhere in the middle of all that, I stopped running - although not physically - because I started bootcamp classes in June - which do involve running.

It’s taken me a long while to realise that ‘productivity does not equal progress’ when you’ve spent 50 years equating ‘busyness’ with self worth.

Here we are.

What I Built

It started with the book. The book was going to be the foundation of everything getting built on top of it. If it didn’t all go in the book - writing it would at least be a useful exercise to get everything I knew onto paper.

The book is finished.

As expected - it’s too much for a single book, but the exercise has been hugely beneficial in terms of providing me with content for my business. I have adapted the content for the book and proposals go out in January.

The tangible things next: I wanted to create freebies that would actually be useful to middle managers. They don’t need to know 10 things great leaders do - they need to know how to make decisions, have tough conversations and communicate effectively with their CEO. I created these with their challenges in mind.

I built a framework that diagnoses their leadership gaps and gives them the tools they can use - immediately.

But by far the biggest lesson is that I want to build something that doesn’t require me to work 14 hour days in order to prove it’s (or I am) valuable. I learned (still learning) to trust that I am where I am meant to be, right now. I don’t need to force it.

What Changed

I have been exhausted.

I recognised something inside of me. I’d been operating in my masculine energy for too long and I was exhausted. My feminine energy is softer - less ‘hustle’ - an alien concept to the world of work as we know it (and me) - but one that I feel is emerging stronger by the day. I see many women tired from the daily hustle and looking for an alternative more aligned with their energetic dna - hopefully they read this and learn to take steps to realign themselves.

I got a head cold a few weeks ago and my body said ‘stop’. While I tried to push through for a day or two - eventually I told myself I would never get better if I didn’t down tools. So I did…. and I stuck the TV on and watched Christmas movies for a day. I didn’t push through. I trusted that everything would still be ok.

I’ve learnt a lot about what ‘feminine energy’ actually means and I don’t mean the Instagram version with sage and soft lighting. It’s not about being all woo-woo (there is nothing wrong with that - I love a bit of woo woo). It’s about trusting intuition. It’s about cyclical work instead of relentless grinding.

I spent 50 years in warrior mode. I don’t know how to be in my ‘feminine’ mode - but I’m learning how to wield my warrior differently - with wisdom instead of urgency.

What I’m Leaving Behind

I’m done with the feminine being all things to all people in a masculine world in an effort to demonstrate equality. I am done with hiding my exhaustion, or that I’m not doing enough. And that suffering is the price of success or that I have to prove myself.

I’m done hiding my slow mornings, and for building something sustainable instead of spectacular.

I’m done with the belief that things only come in life through hustle or struggle. That ease has to be earned. That my dreams will only come true if I work hard enough now.

I’m leaving behind the need to convince everyone I’m smart, capable, experienced. I know what I know. I don’t need to prove it in every conversation, every interaction.

What I’m Walking Toward

Book proposals go out in January.

I’m in my Role Model phase now - I’m a 4:6 in Human Design and i’m in my 6 era. That means it's my time to be the example - to show what's possible so others can see they can do it too.

I’m also staying open to receiving. Not once I’ve earned it. Now. I’m done with the belief that I have to suffer first to deserve it.

And I’m trusting that the next phase unfolds as it’s meant to.

Where I Am Now

I’m creating something I couldn’t have articulated a year ago.

A year ago, I was building a business to get me from my current position to my dream state. Now I’m designing a business that fits my dream life.

It’s not something I need to do to GET my dream life. It’s a subtle shift in mindset. But for the first time in a long time, I know what I’m building.

I think about that 7-year-old playing with her Sindy doll, drawing houses with gardens. She didn’t dream of VP titles. She wanted something quieter.

I’m finally listening to her.

If you’re an instagram scroller you’ll see lots online about all the planetary movement going on in the skies above us. It’s true, there is a lot happening. I want to take this down a peg, explain what's happening and what you can do to support yourself through these shifts.

In astrology we have inner planets: mars, mercury, venus, and outer planets: saturn, jupiter, neptune, uranus and pluto.

The inner planets are personal, that means they directly affect us as individuals. Mercury is the planet of communication. Venus is love and money. Mars is drive. These planets move regularly throughout the year. These planets like sitting in some signs better than others - so this is why at times during the year you’ll feel personal challenges or rewards compared to others.

The outer planets are ‘societal’ planets, this means that they are slow and move less often and when they do they affect everyone on the planet. Saturn is about rules and discipline. Uranus is the ‘great awakener’ and shocks - not always bad. Jupiter is good fortune. Neptune is dreams and illusions. Pluto is about transformation and rebirth.

This year ALL of the outer planets will be in a different sign. This is very rare and as far as we know, it has never happened in recorded history. These shifts will create powerful changes, both in the collective and in our individual lives. We’re already feeling it collectively.

Let’s go into each of them in more detail, what each planetary shift signifies, things to notice, and how to navigate them.

Pluto in Aquarius (2024–2043): Transformation of society and technology

Pluto is the planet of transformation and rebirth. It takes 248 years to orbit the Sun, so it is a generational influence. Pluto focuses on areas where you consciously or subconsciously seek to exert power or control.

It has been in Capricorn since 2008 - Capricorn is about structure and leadership. If we look back at what happened 248 years ago, it was the American Revolution and the declaration of independence. And then take a look at what’s playing out on the world stage at present?

However, it moved into Aquarius last year, and this will be its first full year in the sign of Aquarius. Aquarian energy is all about innovation, thought, treating everyone fairly, ..humanitarian. We can also expect to see huge shifts in technology, AI, and community-driven initiatives. Old power structures (hierarchies) may be dismantled to make way for more inclusive systems. Social justice movements could gain traction, and issues like digital privacy and decentralisation will become focal points.

Be mindful: While Aquarius is associated with progress and humanitarianism, Pluto can intensify control via technology or ideology i.e., not all outcomes are utopian.

Things to think about:

On a personal level you should look at areas of your life, including outdated beliefs and attachments, where you are ready to let go and evolve?

How are you contributing to the collective good? Are you embracing collaboration and innovation in your own life?

How to manage this:

• Stay adaptable and open to new technologies or ways of thinking. But remember you are a whole human and your brain is more powerful. You hold all the answers yourself - you don’t need gimmicks and gurus. So, learn to trust your own intuition - so put the phone down and get quiet.

• Engage with communities that align with your values.

Jupiter in Cancer (2025–2026): Expanding emotional wisdom

Jupiter is classed as an outer planet, but it really a social planet - so more than an inner planet, but not quite an outer planet - let’s not get too hung up on that though. Jupiter is the planet of growth, good fortune and expansion. It takes about 12 years to orbit the sun, so it spends about a year in each sign. This year it’s moving into Cancer. Jupiter loves being in Cancer. Cancer is the sign of the home and emotional security. Time to nurture yourself and others through connection and compassion.

We’re being asked to think about what feels safe and aligned to our soul.

Be mindful: Even in exaltation, too much emotion or lack of boundaries can lead to drama. Also cancer is a water sign, so watch for

• Emotional overindulgence

• Smothering or overprotectiveness

• Clinging to the past or family dynamics that no longer serve

• Sentimentalism blocking growth

Things to think about:

Are you creating a supportive environment for yourself and your loved ones?

What emotional needs are you overlooking or neglecting?

How to manage this:

• Lean into vulnerability and prioritise your emotional well-being.

• Cultivate gratitude and focus on creating a nurturing space, whether it’s at home or within relationships.

Saturn in Aries (2025–2028): Leadership and individual responsibility

Wohoo, strap yourselves in people. Saturn is the planet of structure and discipline. Saturn asks: Are your foundations strong enough? If not, it’s time to get serious about long-term plans and commitments. No cutting corners or quick wins. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, and is direct, pioneering, and focused on new beginnings - think trailblazer. While Aries can get a bad rap, if they didn’t go first, we’d all be sitting around looking at each other wondering who will go.

Aries prefer action over detail. Saturn has a demand for patience and maturity. So together, we are in for a helluva ride with these two.

It’s not all bad. In fact with Saturn in Aries you’ll feel a push to take initiative and step into leadership roles. Saturn in Aries rewards courage and determination, it just challenges impulsiveness.

Although Saturn typically retrogrades once a year, which can slow down or cause review periods during this transit. So when your life feels like you’re going no where, this is actually a period for reassessment.

Aries is an individualistic sign, so you’ll find themes around challenges with teamwork or collaboration that require new maturity. On a societal level, Saturn in Aries might bring themes of redefining leadership models, emphasis on personal responsibility in political or entrepreneurial spheres, and new initiatives with long-term consequences.

Things to think about:

• Are you willing to take ownership of your goals? If you do and you work at them consistently - no half measures or dodgy dealings, Saturn will reward you big time.

• How can you lead with both responsibility and vision?

How to manage this:

• Create ‘actionable and manageable’ plans and follow through with discipline. Think tortoise and the hare.

• Avoid rushing decisions. Balance any fiery boldness with thoughtful strategy and discipline.

Neptune in Aries (2025–2039): Dreaming BIG and defining purpose

Neptune is the planet of dreams and illusions. It asks you to trust your intuition, but stay grounded. Are your dreams practical or just wishful thinking?

Neptune takes about 165 years to orbit the sun, and spends about 14 years in each sign. Neptune is therefore a generational planet. Neptune hasn’t been in Aries since the mid-1800s (1861–1875) So what happened 165 years ago? The Panic of 1857 caused a severe economic downturn, also influenced the political climate leading up to the American Civil War.

Aries is a fire sign known for action, initiation, and leadership, but Neptune tends to dissolve boundaries and create fog/gaslight moments. This can cause confusion around identity and direction as the dream or vision may feel urgent but unclear. We can see that playing out on social media - great ideas and passion, but how exactly does that practically play out?

Neptune in Aries could also inspire a wave of new spiritual or creative movements focused on individual awakening and self-expression. Neptune in Aries can lead to reckless idealism, impulsive spiritual pursuits, or misleading charismatic leaders. So I would strongly ask you to avoid anyone claiming to be a guru or have ‘all the answers’.

On a personal level, Neptune in Aries is about finding the courage to pursue dreams with passion. You might notice a surge in idealistic energy and visionary ideas. But you may need to discern true inspiration from illusions or self-deception, especially with Aries’ impulsive energy.

Things to think about:

• What is your “big why”? What is your purpose that drives your actions? Remember your purpose is ultimately to be you - but the you that has not been conditioned by modern day society - think ‘you’ as a child.

• Are you mistaking escapism for inspiration?

How to manage this:

• Stay grounded while pursuing your vision. Use mindfulness or grounding techniques to stay present. Go for walks in nature - get natural vitamin D.

• YOU have all of the answers. You just need to get still and listen. Your intuition is a muscle that needs worked, so in our world of scrolling and quick fixes, this is a challenge. But this is where you will find the answers.

• Balance any idealism with practical steps toward your goals.

Uranus in Gemini (2025–2033): Revolutionary communication

Uranus is called the ‘great awakener’. It causes sudden unexpected changes, but that’s often to wake us up and get us back on track. Uranus takes about 84 years to orbit the sun. Uranus was last in Gemini from 1941 to 1949 - the era of radio, propaganda, early computing, and cryptography. It’s not all bad. In addition to ‘expect the unexpected’ with Uranus, it also rules freedom and originality.

Gemini is the sign of communication. So Uranus in Gemini offers you a new way of looking at things and is associated with new technology and new inventions - think innovation and breakthroughs. There will likely be rapid changes in how we communicate and share information and breakthroughs in education, media, and technology. Watch for accelerated developments in AI, virtual communication, or even language processing that reshape how we connect and perceive truth.

Be mindful: Challenges may arise around misinformation or overstimulation due to information overload.

Things to think about:

• Are you open to new ways of learning and connecting with others?

• How are you filtering the information you consume?

How to manage this:

• Embrace adaptability and curiosity. Experiment with new methods of communication and learning.

• Set boundaries to avoid overwhelm and focus on reliable sources of information.

• Take intentional breaks from digital overwhelm. Put the phones down - occasionally.

General tips for managing these outer planet shifts

1. Pause and reflect - regularly: Journaling, breathwork and meditative practices can help you process the shifts and how they’re affecting you.

2. Stay flexible: The collective energy will be dynamic. Resisting change can create tension. Learn to go with the flow - lean into curiosity and be adaptable.

3. Prioritise self-care: When outer planets shift, the ripple effects can feel overwhelming. Protect your energy and nurture yourself. Eat whole natural foods. Stay hydrated. Prioritise your sleep. Move your body. Be mindful. Practice gratitude.

4. Find Community: Many of these shifts emphasise collaboration and collective energy. We have moved away from traditional community values. We need to go back to surround ourselves with like-minded people - but in a 21st Century way.

Pluto in Aquarius and Neptune in Aries are both encouraging us to dream bigger together, but act individually with integrity.

There is a lot of drama around these big planetary shifts - but I think these shifts are necessary for us to evolve. Think back to all those previous events - they weren’t great at the time, but we survived, grew and moved on.

So, if you face the world with negativity and fear, you will experience negativity and fear. If you face the world with positivity and hope, you will experience that. It’s the glass half full or half empty mentality. You decide.

These planetary movements are a call to action. Which energy will you lean into this year?

Thanks for reading.

For years I have been searching externally for ‘my home’ - the dream house. I can see it in my minds eye. I’ve been drawing it since I was 7. ha

Realising I'm my own home

But I realised in my last house that home is where I am. I can make the space comfortable and cosy, but ultimately, I am the reason it's a home.

I have given myself a roof over my head, and I can comfort myself at night. When people worry about a partner running off with someone else, I never have to worry about that with myself. I am here for me. Realising that has just hit me. Sometimes I forget to acknowledge that I am here for me. I forget that when everyone else has left, it’s me. Me in my head, me in my body and me in my soul.

Reframing my perspective

The fear still comes. It wears many faces. My business is not going to succeed. I am never going to meet anyone. My money will run out. I pause and ask myself, how would I address those claims if a friend or client said them?

• My business is still in its infancy and I am still getting to grips with it. I know you’re seeing loads of pushy people offering £10k months, but I am not up for the hard sale. I want to add value. That’s going to take time. Be patient.

• It’s not just business where the doubts show up - the same doubts creep in when it comes to relationships. I could go online and date if I wanted to meet someone? I don’t want to. Go online, that is - not meeting someone. It’s a conundrum.

• My money may run out. This issue is an ancestral one. I am not frivolous or complacent. Money is energy - it will come back. Everything will be ok.

If you ever stop and listen how we talk to ourselves, we treat ourselves like shite. Like we really do. Give yourself a break. You’re here, you’re doing ok.

Practicing gratitude

I know when the noise of work, tv, social media, and the outside world is quiet… I know deep in my heart I am ok. I am alive, healthy, happy and I have a roof over my head, food to put on the table and money in the bank - I am infinitely wealthy. I am abundant. I am so f**king grateful for it. So grateful.

I practice gratitude regularly. I write three things every morning I am grateful for. At nighttime, when I climb into bed, I think of all the good things that have happened that day.

This life's a journey. I am on the next stage of the journey. This year may have its challenges - but if I focus on just the ‘next hurdle’, the ‘next step’, I can manage it. I will be ok.

If it gets hard, I just need to remember two things

1. this too shall pass,

2. ‘what’s the lesson’? What am I being taught?

Like a lot of people my age, I have overcome a lot. I’m tired. It would be nice to have some less stress. ha ha But as sure as the sun comes up in the morning, I am sure there is more to come. I know I will survive. That’s because I’ve got me.

So, if you’ve ever found yourself looking for home in someone or somewhere else, maybe this year is about finding that feeling within yourself, too.

And let’s face it, the end goal for everyone is to rush towards the end of life and die because of exhaustion, right?

That’s a slightly drastic opener, but I think it’s important to recognise that we are here on earth to enjoy and experience life. I know for most of us it doesn’t seem that way. But all of this mental clutter (work, bills, family, relationships, cost of living, responsibilities and mindless scrolling on our phones) leads to stress, overwhelm, and even more serious health issues. Remember the saying ‘the body keeps the score’ - Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a leading expert on traumatic stress. Well, it does.

I have a couple of concerns about western society as a whole, and a lot of people can probably resonate with this.

1 Sugar is not good. That’s an understatement. It’s in everything from processed foods through to sweets and beyond. I have a sugar addiction. The minute that little Tasmanian sugar devil inside me sniffs a chance of sugar, he runs amok until he gets fed. It takes a lot of willpower, discipline and staying out of temptations to not wake him. Day to day on a healthy balanced diet, I am ok. When I go to the shop I can avoid the aisles with ease. Put me in a coffee shop with a window full of cakes and buns and I am in dangerous territory.

Here is my personal worry - my own mum suffers from dementia, and is now in full-time care. She started showing signs when she was 65 yrs of age. That’s 13 years from now for me. While it is not a hereditary disease, it can have a genetic component and given my grandmother and aunt also had the disease - I fall into the higher risk category. Having read up on the disease, I went about a serious life overhaul to prioritise my mental health and well-being.

The challenge is - even with that threat hanging over your head - the pull of the sugar is often stronger. That’s worrying, no?

2 Put the bloody phone down: How many times a day when you are sitting at your screen at work do you pick up your phone for a scroll? How often do you stick the TV on and sit on your phone scrolling? How often are you with friends or family and you receive a notification and pick up your phone to answer it? We consider that acceptable behaviour. Even worse, the first words often uttered upon entering someone's house (after we have said hello) is often ‘can I connect to your wifi?’

I am so guilty of a bit of mindless scrolling. I am also a huge advocate for ‘putting the phone down’ and letting your brain have a rest. When I go out for dinner now with friends and they take their phone out, I will normally say ‘do you not want to be here?’ - they laugh, but the phone gets put away.

1. We do not know the long term impact of our phones. But you can already see the short term problems arising.

2. Decreasing ability to read something that isn’t summarised in bullets.

3. No attention span for watching a movie on TV.

4. We hold the world's problems in our hands. You can now see what's going on everywhere in the world, at all times just by looking at your device. Which is not good for our nervous system and cortisol levels. I’m all for transparency and visibility, but that’s not healthy for our nervous systems.

5. We are losing our ability to interact with other humans and hold an actual conversation.

6. My biggest fear - with the introduction of Chat GPT, my worry is that we no longer need to think, or have an attention span, because the device in our hands does the thinking for us. Why bother being alive? You were given a brain to think and use. I often worry if the lack of use of our brains will see an increase in cases of dementia?

   Do not get me wrong - I LOVE Chat GPT, I use it. I just remember that it is not me and to ensure I add my own logic. But I worry for the next generation and can already see teenagers using it as a default to think for them. I'm just going to ask ChatGPT!’ YIKES.

We were given our brains to think.

We were given a heart to feel.

We were given a body to move.

Being you requires work. But don’t forget you were given the gift of life - your soul wanted to come down and experience life. You didn’t come down to be a slave to a job, scroll on a device, pay bills, eat shit, and wait until you retire before you get to have any fun.

I think resetting your brain can help you see things differently and make changes that could lead to a better life?

Just as we declutter or spring clean our physical spaces, it's essential to declutter our minds too. So I’ve come up with a few easy ways to give your brain the spring clean it deserves.

1. Breathe

If you’ve read any of my other stuff you’ll know I keep banging on about this. Honestly, I am not very good at practicing what I preach, but when I do, this really works. Mindful breathing can help reduce stress and improve focus. Even a few minutes of deep, slow breaths can make a significant difference in your mental clarity.

The easiest one to do is the traditional box breathing; breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4 and pause for 4. But count the 4 as 1(100), 2(100), 3(100), 4(100).

2. Learn to say ‘No’

Like many, I am a chronic ‘people pleaser’. Many of us have a habit of overcommitting in every aspect of our lives, which can lead to mental clutter. Practising saying ‘no’ to tasks, events or responsibilities that don't align with your priorities is a good way of putting in boundaries. I found when I went self-employed, it was too easy to agree to virtual coffee’s and lunch dates with everyone. What was happening was that everyone was delighted to have a playmate - but I had spread myself too thin and was getting nothing done. I now only agree to a maximum of 2 virtual coffee’s a week and one face to face with anyone who isn’t paying my bills. From the time I started doing this it has revolutionised my life.

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3. Do a digital detox

I am a huge advocate for this one. Our devices can be a significant source of mental clutter - and not to mention that the world's problems are in our hands, just from a ‘swipe’. Be conscious of phone usage.

Other than whatsapp, I have turned off all notifications for every app. I try to put my phone behind me, or in another room in the house when I am working. I also ensure it charges overnight by the bedroom door - not beside my bed. That also means I have to get up to turn the alarm off. If I wake up in the middle of the night and it’s before 6am, I tell myself ‘you should be sleeping, not on your phone’. The other thing I do is if I turn the TV on and pick up my phone, I then have to turn the TV off - I won't do both. Not least for the amount of electricity used.

4. Do It. Dump It. Delegate It.

When your life becomes overwhelming, I often tell people to write everything they need to do down on a page. Don’t order it, sort it, rank it, just write everything down on the page.

That simple task of emptying your brain without judgement can automatically help you see clearer.

Then look at your to-do list and think,

1) what is urgent for today,

2) what is going to help me achieve my long term goals

3) what is just noise, but I need to do it

4) life is too important, and this isn’t so it’s on the list and I'll get to it at some point, but if I don’t the world won’t end.

My tip: I have a to-do list for the week ahead. I tend to review this either on a Friday or Sunday afternoon. I colour the little boxes in green when they are done. And, yes I do add tasks to the list, just so I can mark them in green. Who doesn’t?! BUT - if anything does come in, I really question where it sits. Because my time is important. I have dreams to fulfil and a life to live.

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5. Say No to Multitasking

Multitasking can lead to reduced productivity and increased mental clutter. (it does - FACT) Focus on completing one task at a time. When you give your full attention to a single task, you're more likely to accomplish it efficiently and effectively. And you feel better.

I am an Aries sun sign and we are notorious for starting 100 projects at once and finishing NONE of them - so this is something I have been consciously focused on. As this is an area I struggle with, I have drafted in a friend to help keep me accountable. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Or if you know you have a weakness in a certain area, access available resources to help you learn.

6. Journal

Journaling is a life-saver for me. I started journaling at the beginning of lockdown. It's the first thing I do every morning when I get up. Journaling can be a powerful way to declutter your mind.

Set aside some time, start with 15 mins, to jot down your thoughts, concerns, or anything that's on your mind. Do not judge yourself, don’t correct spelling or grammatical errors and do not treat it like an award winning prize novel. It’s just your thoughts, to clear your head.

This practice can help you process your emotions and gain mental clarity.

If you need any more insight on this one, I have a free 12 week journaling challenge, so please message me.

7. Get moving

Physical activity has a direct impact on your mental well-being - even if it's just a short walk. You don’t need me to remind you that exercise releases endorphins, which can boost your mood and clear mental fog. Personally, I struggle with motivation for physical activity, but I know I do feel better when I do. I hate admitting that. Ha ha.

On days when I really don’t feel like it, I at least get out for a 10 minute walk. The fresh air instantly blows away any cobwebs or concerns.

8. Prioritise being still

Mindfulness and meditation practices are excellent tools for decluttering your mind, but not everyone thinks they can do them. Most people get caught up in the idea that ‘my mind still wanders…..’. That's ok.

What I actually find easier is allocating some time to sit in silence, with a cup of tea or glass of water - but no phone, book or tv and just sit still. Be conscious of your breath, be conscious of the taste of your drink, look at your environment and think how wonderful it is to enjoy just 10 minutes of peace and quiet. If you want to try and tell me you don’t have 10 minutes in a 24 hour period, look at your phone usage and if it’s zero, come back and tell me you don’t have 10 minutes.

I also find guided meditations to be very helpful, so don’t be afraid to try a few different approaches.

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So there are a few little tricks you can try and incorporate, the biggest task of all is reminding yourself that you and your time are worth it. It’s very easy to give our time away to everyone else, but there is a reason why the airlines tell you in the event of cabin oxygen ‘fit your own mask, before attempting to help others’. At the end of the day, if you are dead none of this matters. That’s very direct, but sometimes we need a slap in the face to wake us up to reality. This is your life and you matter. That includes allowing yourself time to smell the coffee/ roses - whichever takes your preference.

Who remembers, eggs were public enemy number one in the 80’s? We also had the aerobic workouts in your leotard in the living room? I don't personally know of anyone actually ever changing into a leotard to do the workout in their living room. But if you do, be sure to let me know.

Today is no different. We’re currently in the menopause maze.

The menopause. It’s absolutely everywhere. It seems that the floodgates have opened when it comes to women's health as a result of the menopause.

The menopause is not new.

It's a physiological & biological change in a woman's body that is part of who we are. It can happen at any age, but generally late 40’s to mid 50’s. But in this day and age of ‘online’ - everyone has a fix.

You don’t have to scroll too far to read that we need to take extra vitamins, we need to eat more protein, we need to lift weights, we need to walk, we need to take collagen, we need to wash our hair with seaweed, we need to take creatine, we need to be outside, we need to be wearing SPF 50, we shouldn’t be wearing SPF. The list goes on.

I know collagen and creatine and protein are the big focus at the minute.

• Collagen: Research on its effectiveness is still emerging. It’s not a magic fix, but it has shown to be effective when it comes to skin and joint health if taken consistently.

• Creatine: It has mostly been studied in athletic contexts, but newer research supports benefits for women, including older adults. It may help with other future neurological diseases.

• Protein: Increased needs during menopause are well-supported to combat muscle loss (sarcopenia).

Some of these are well-supported, others still under debate - and not every trend suits every body? While I understand the reasons for it, I can’t help asking the question ‘do I need to be doing all of this’? Isn’t there some sort of balance? Surely if it’s preventative or helpful, it’s got to be worth a consideration?

One thing is for absolute certainty, it is fecking brilliant that we are actually talking about the menopause openly and not as a swear word: ‘the change’, uttered in a hushed tone behind your hand. It seems history has a habit of making anything to do with women = bad.

History Repeats: I’m going to go off on a tangent for a minute, but there is a point, so bear with me.

For as far back as history goes, women have been classed as the inferior sex. Anyone would think it was because history is a male dominated authorship? Oh wait….

If you’re into your religious history, you will know that when God created the earth, he didn’t create Adam AND Eve - he created man and woman’. Even the bible tells us that Eve was made from a bone in Adam’s rib cage. The original OG - never talked about in the bible written by…. yes you guessed it - was Lilith. Lilith was a woman = bad. Adam asked Lilith to bow down to him. But they were equals. Lilith refused and basically said ‘feck this, I’m outta here, dude’ and left. There is evidence of her in some ancient Jewish texts.

Continuing in the bible there are many questions about Mary Magdalene. Why has the church made her out to be a hooker? It is entirely possible that Jesus was married as a 30 year old man living in Middle Eastern culture at that time? Almost as plausible as Jesus having red hair, blue eyes and fair skin - living in the middle east - but hey, who’s judging?

Witches got drowned and burned at the stake for undertaking spiritual practices they had carried out for centuries. Communities relied on those practices. Seasonal worshipping and living was a thing back then. Why is that bad? Or was it because someone was threatened? It couldn’t be proved? They couldn’t control it? (A bit like the logical male side of our brains - control).

And speaking of ancient practices…because I love a bit of ‘woo woo’. Astrology, herbalism, lunar cycles, goddess energy, are all having a moment right now. And it’s easy to laugh and knock them because they aren’t backed by a peer-reviewed study.

But these practices have been around for thousands of years. Entire civilisations have tracked the skies, the stars, and the seasons. Major historical figures - from Galileo to Jung - studied astrology as a tool for understanding the self and the cosmos. (That was a shout out for the guys who might be feeling a bit left out.) They didn’t have fitbits or wellness influencers; they had observation and intuition. And maybe there’s something in that?

Why is it that ‘ancient’ in the spiritual sense equals ‘invalid’, but if it’s from Ancient Greece or written in Latin it’s history?

I’m not saying these ancient practices are the answer, but I am saying that dismissing anything with a long lineage of cultural and spiritual relevance just because it isn’t measurable by science is a bit… narrow? What if, instead of calling it nonsense, we just asked: Does it help people feel more connected to themselves? More grounded? More whole? Because if it does, what’s wrong with that?

This is not about bashing men - I’m very fond of them. This is just opening up to alternatives and highlighting something very important - and that is balance. Or lack of it. Have we been asked to live in the logical brain for too long?

Why are we denying our DNA?

The entire world is made up of opposites: black/ white, salt/ pepper/ male/ female/ up/ down, rich/ poor, yin/ yang. Every human has a male and female part to them - their yin (F) and yang (M). Women are more intuitive, but need to balance with logic. Men are more logical, but need to embrace their intuitive and emotional side. Men and women work together to form harmony and balance. This is not a competition. This is not one side is better than the other. This is about how we embrace both parts of the individual and come together to work in a community in harmony.

Over the last 50 years, we have felt a shift. We are definitely living in more of a patriarchal capitalist world. Women are leaning into more of the yang/ masculine energies of their DNA. For the love of god, this isn’t about blaming men, it’s just about recognising systems that don't serve anyone equally. It’s not balanced.

I personally believe this is why we are seeing women of all ages currently feeling exhausted. I am especially seeing this in many of my friends, family and colleagues of a menopause age. It’s not like they can’t hack the race, they’ve proven they can and still load the dishwasher (joke). This is more about the fact that they are neglecting the softer and more intuitive feminine side of their DNA, and it’s depleting them.

The feminine - intuition, softness, rest - has been pushed out. No wonder we’re burnt out.

It’s starting to show.

Bear with me on this one. Many women carry weight around their middle. This happens some at menopause, but it also happens some much earlier in their lives. I’ve had mine for over 25 years, and it never seems to move. Ha ha.

It was only recently that I learned the fight or flight response in our bodies is based in the adrenal glands, which are beside our kidneys - guess where that’s located?

It is interesting also, that many of us eat as a coping mechanism to handle stress and it’s sitting around our middle - the same place as our fight or flight response centre.

So while I am not saying the fat around our middle is there as a result of long-term living in fight or flight (I might be suggesting that, though?), it is proven that stress can lead to fat gain via cortisol.

So perhaps our weight loss isn’t just directly linked to counting calories? Food for thought? It’s certainly an approach I’m investigating as part of my lifestyle.

And if balance is what we’re after, isn’t this where we start?

Back to basics: How do we get rid of it?

I asked my nutritionist this recently, and she said ‘that's been there for 25 years, you ain’t getting rid of that in a month.’ That wasn't the response I was looking for, but hey.

But there are steps you can take.

• Food: Are you eating a predominantly healthy balanced diet made up of whole foods? Don’t exclude any groups, regardless of what anyone says you need all of them. Sugar is not a food group. Don’t black mark ‘carbs’ because of sugar.

• Cravings: Food is a fecker - well sugar is. It’s so addictive. One of the tricks I do when I’m hungry - apart from having no food in the house - is to ask myself “OK. There is no food in the house, so how else are we going to solve this feeling? what else can we do?”

• Water: Are you drinking enough water? Water is about the only thing you can drink that will flush your system out. Aim for 2 litres a day - I often drink more. Cappuccinos are not fluid. Neither is diet coke. Sorry.

• Fresh air: Going outside has all sorts of benefits for you, not least some potential vitamin D (although if you live in the UK that can be hit and miss. I am loving the weather we are experiencing at present!). Daylight has been known to provide all good sorts of shit to your receptors in your brain etc.

• Breathe: We really do not breathe. You might laugh at that statement, but the shallow inhalation that you are doing while reading this is not actually ‘breathing’ for your health. You should start with 5 minutes a day and build on that. Do it slow and consciously - it’s not a race - and take full breaths into your stomach. It might make you feel a little light headed at first - persevere. The obvious one to do is the box breathing - in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4 and pause for 4 - but count 1(100) 2(100) 3(100) 4(100).

• Sit quietly: We rush so much through the day. This the biggest counter hitting our feminine side. We need to slow down and move intuitively, not logically. You can’t be intuitive while you're running at 100 miles an hour. Have you ever made a cup of tea, sat in an armchair with no phone, no tv, or book and just drank the cup of tea doing nothing? Try it. It will feel so wrong initially - but if you think about it, are you really that busy that you can’t sit for 10 mins in a 24 hour period? (*If you think you are, I want you to look at your screen time on your phone and come back to me if its at zero and you're busy.)

This is NOT just for women - EVERYONE has a feminine side to their DNA. Everyone needs to consider the balance.

I think society as a whole needs to reduce the fast paced, logical, hustle and slow down into a more intuitive paced approach. Think about your job. How many of you say, ‘I’d love a day to just not have meetings or deal with stuff so I can just think’? That right there is your intuition shouting ‘HELLO!!!!!”

Your body knows what it needs. It knows what’s right and wrong - and I don’t mean the logical side, I mean the initiative side - we’ve just lost our ability to listen to it. So start with taking 10 minutes to slow down and hear what it has to say; heads up, it won't have anything to say initially. It normally pipes up after about 20/25 minutes - but learning to hear your intuition again is like exercising a muscle. It needs to be worked. Learn to listen to yourself again.

Now….

Take a deep breath in now, and breathe out very slowly and feel the tension relax from your shoulders.

Go back to the basics. Don’t be looking online for answers. You have all the answers. You know what to eat. You know how to live. Learn to trust our own instincts and live in alignment with our DNA - as humans.

I didn’t realise I was burnt out.

I was working ridiculous hours - like 12+ hour days and weekends. I was squeezing in family and friends. When I wasn’t working or seeing friends I lay in a comatose state on the sofa watching movies. One of the biggest challenges I faced, and I still have to watch myself, is that I couldn’t leave my desk. I told myself I was ‘busy’. But the fear of moving from my desk and missing out was so strong, I would forgo any proper eating or any form of exercise - even a light walk. I couldn’t see what I was doing to myself. So when I decided to take a sabbatical in 2023, it literally took me 4 months to slow down and realise what had happened.

I mentioned I still have to watch myself - I took a contract last year, and within 3 months I was back to all my old habits. When the contract ended, I knew I needed a different approach.

There is a lot of help available when it comes to online content, and nothing I may say here may be new insight for you - but I believe that what people need are the potential symptoms so they can be aware, and what steps you can take to address it. So I wanted to take a light-touch look at the signs of burnout to look out for and practical steps you can take to prevent it.

Recognising you have a problem

The first step in addressing burnout is acknowledging that you might actually be experiencing its presence. Some of the signs to look out for,

• Procrastination and a fear of taking risks: Burnout can make you overly cautious, avoiding challenges or new opportunities.

• Feeling generally unwell: Physical symptoms like headaches, digestive issues, or frequent illnesses can be indicative of burnout.

• Overthinking: A constant loop of worrying thoughts can cloud your mind.

• Over-dramatising small issues: Minor setbacks or inconveniences may feel disproportionately stressful.

• Insomnia: Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep due to racing thoughts.

• Distracted and spaced out: Trouble focusing or being present in the moment.

• Talking too much: An increase in chatter, often as a way to cope with stress.

• Self-criticism: Harsh self-judgment and being overly critical of others.

If you resonate with these signs, it's crucial to take them seriously and seek strategies to combat burnout. If you think your health is seriously affected, seek professional medical help.

Make exercise a priority

I have no problem admitting, I am shite at this. However, even I have to admit that physical activity is a powerful antidote to stress/ burnout. Regular exercise - even walking - releases endorphins, reduces stress hormones, and improves mood. Finding something that fits in, and you enjoy, is key to sustaining it long term and making it a part of your routine.

Set boundaries

Something else I have no issue admitting I was weak with, and that's establishing clear boundaries between work and personal life is essential. Learn to say no - even in your personal life. People can assume ownership of your time without you even realising. You are not being rude, you are protecting your time and energy.

Take rest seriously

We hustle too much in today's world. We forget that we are not actually intended to operate at this pace. Rest isn't a luxury; it's a necessity. Research suggests you should be aiming for at least 42% of your time to be devoted to rest and relaxation. I would have been lucky previously if I gave 4% ha ha. Remember that it's okay to take care of yourself.

Stop Trying to Be Perfect

Perfectionism is a common contributor to burnout. This can often be a trait that has built over time, and can take a long time to release. Understand that perfection is an unattainable goal. Embrace imperfections and focus on progress, not perfection. Good enough, is good enough.

Eat Well

Nutrition plays a significant role in managing stress and fatigue. Fuel your body with a balanced diet of foods in their natural state as much as possible and avoid ultra-processed foods, which can not only exacerbate stress but also have potential longer-term health issues.

Mindfulness Practices

People can struggle with meditation and sitting still. I think that's partly because of the constant flickering lights of our phones. Incorporating any form of mindfulness or quiet time into your daily routine will benefit you enormously. Meditation, deep breathing exercises, and journaling can help you stay present, reduce stress, and gain perspective on your thoughts and feelings.

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Burnout is an increasingly pervasive issue in today's society. Recognising the signs and taking proactive steps to prevent it is crucial for your overall well-being. By making small conscious changes to your daily routines, diet and self-care, you can effectively combat burnout and restore balance to your life.

Remember, self-care is not selfish - it's a vital component of a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. And you matter.

This is not about overhauling your entire life overnight. It’s about seven simple, doable habits that help you feel more grounded, focused, and — dare I say — like someone who actually has their sh*t together. It’s not rocket science, but it works.

Eat well - eat food in as natural a state as possible. I read somewhere years ago ‘if it has a barcode - its a no.’ The challenge is because most of our supermarket packaging EVERYTHING has a barcode. So try and eat and cook with food less than three ingredients. My big tip here being an overeater is just don’t have anything that's going to tempt you. I can’t have temptation in my way - my willpower is shocking when it comes to sugar. The other thing is, and this is SO important - have down days. Want pizza? Eat the goddamn pizza. Just don’t eat it every day!

Stay Hydrated - we are approx 60% water. Drinking water is essential because it keeps your body functioning properly, it supports digestion, regulates temperature, boosts energy, and flushes out toxins. I drink about 2ltrs a day and I can tell in my wee when i don't (TMI I know, but sometimes people don’t know). Fruit juice, carbonated drinks, alcohol etc don’t count. Just drink the friggin water - I don't understand people who say they don’t like the taste of it. IT DOESN'T TASTE OF ANYTHING. You don't like it because it doesn't have sugar in it. Face facts.

Prioritise sleep - sleep is essential for recovery. If you don't sleep you know it. If animals are sick or wounded, they sleep it off. Prioritise getting 8 hrs sleep a night. Leave the phone out of the bedroom all together, but if you use it for the alarm clock, leave it on a chair beside the door. That way you have to get out of bed to turn it off too. You can come up with every excuse under the sun (trust me - you can’t bullsh*t a bullsh*tter) but when you get used to sleeping with the phone away from your bed you can’t sleep ‘well’ again with it beside your bed.

Move your body - this is my achilles heel, i’m not going to lie. I hate it - you can tell me all the benefits in the world, I just don’t enjoy exercising. However, I know at my age, it is essential to prioritise my health, 1) if i dont have my health I have nothing 2) my mother is in full-time care with dementia - I am taking no chances on anything to do with my health and wellbeing 3) I am over 50 and single, I haven’t got anyone looking after me when I get older 4) the benefits for your mental health are limitless - so I prioritise getting 6k steps a day - a previous PT told me 10k is a goal, 6k physically all you need to reap the benefits. So at least - get off your backside and go for a walk.

Put the bloody phone down. Be connected - but put the phone down and turn the TV off occasionally - we are on the phones too much. You don't need me to tell you this. I know starting my own business I needed social media, but even I had to admit to the amount of scrolling time. The challenge is when you see all of the stuff online you generally are doom scrolling (fear), looking at celebrities (lack), or escapism - the challenge is while you are spending hours online scrolling thats hours that you could have cooked a proper meal, chatted to a friend, been out for a walk, sat and practiced being mindful. Don’t come at me with your excuses, but the next time you say you don't have time for a walk, to cook, to get a full night’s sleep to do the thing you never have time for - think about how much tv you are watching and how much time you have spent on your phone that day - let’s face it, is that influencer, celebrity or anything else more important than you?

Practice Gratitude - Think gratitude. Think Pollyanna and the glad game. She irritated the life out of me in that movie. I know anytime I see or hear anyone saying ‘be grateful’ ‘practice gratitude’ I hear nails screeching down a chalkboard. But here’s the thing, I started about a year ago writing down 3 things every morning that I was grateful for, and every night I get into bed I say ‘thank you for today’ and then think of all the positive things that have happened that day - they can be anything from I am grateful for my morning coffee to I managed to get my 6k steps done. Through practicing gratitude I have really started to notice when other people are nasty or ‘low vibe’, and I don’t want that around me. Thinking of all the good things that happened at the end of the day also helps you go to sleep in a good mood and you will sleep better. So although reading this you are probably rolling your eyes - please do try and practice it - you will be grateful ha ha ha ha.

Practice mindfulness: meditation, journaling, gardening, cooking etc. - I am rubbish at meditation. Here’s the thing, you don’t need to meditate to be mindful. I love journaling - journaling is a form of mindfulness, walking, cooking, gardening - anything where you are in a state of ‘flow’ and not engaging your brain is mindfulness. It’s just slowing your brain down form all the other sh*t thats going on up there. Ever wondered why at the start of a meditation they get you to focus on your breathing? Its because at the start of a meditation your brain is still racing, what you are trying to do is slow it down. This is why you ‘tend to’, but not imperative, sit still - eventually you brain will pause and go ‘why are we not moving? Why are we just sitting here?’ … and stop. It’s at that point that you have hit the jackpot - when you are doing nothing, feel nothing, thinking of nothing and are nothing that you are still. That’s when you can hear your intuition - your inner guidance/ compass nudging you where you need to go. Mindfulness is like exercising a muscle - it wont happen straight away - so be patient. Consistency is key.

As you can see it’s not rocket science. These are the basics, but the basics are what work and you can build on good foundations. Nail these, and you’ll feel more in control of your life. Simple doesn’t mean easy, but it’s worth it.

I remember the approach to turning 50. I wasn’t bothered. In fact, I was actually quite excited about the prospect. But I remember wanting to fulfil a dream of owning my own mini pig (as in a hotel, not the 4-legged oink variety) and I set about selling my home to buy a small footprint property in the UK and then a larger property in France.

The house sold, and I moved into my UK bolthole, an apartment on the South Coast. I had reached the pinnacle of my professional career also. I went about renovating the apartment and working full time in a global executive position. I failed to notice all of the warning signs arising. Eventually after returning from a trip to Oz pre-Christmas 22, I was battered across the head with what I could only describe as a life affirming moment: ‘WTF are you doing with your life?!’.

I quit my job and decided to take some time out. I set about losing weight, reducing stress, booking bucket list holidays, and undertaking the proverbial ‘inner work’. Two and half years on, I am probably nowhere near where I want to be, I have taken about 10 detours along the way and I am still in my apartment on the south coast, with no sight of the French shores anytime soon. But I can now say, wholeheartedly, that I am living more ‘authentically’ - please don’t vomit.

In the tapestry of life, there comes a time when you might feel the need for a fresh start - this often tends to appear around midlife, when you have less in front of you than behind you - but it’s not exclusive to that group.

Whether it's a quest for greater fulfillment, a pursuit of purpose, or a desire for change, redesigning your life is a transformative journey. I wanted to explore what I believe are the key steps to help you take charge of your life and create a more meaningful and authentic existence.

1. Make a feckin decision

Between work and life, when was the last time you actually paused to ask: Where am I? Where do I want to go? And how the hell am I going to bridge the gap? The first step is to acknowledge the need for change and muster the courage to embark on this journey. So take some time to look at your current situation, pinpoint areas that require transformation, and set the intention to take action - change begins with a single step.

2. Buy a book on ‘how to keep chickens’

If you are going to buy cows and chickens and live in the countryside away from everyone you will need to understand how much that costs, how do you look after cows and chickens? Romantic ideas are wonderful - trust me, I can lose myself in my imagination endlessly, but the practical side of what you wish to undertake requires some attention. Whether it's enrolling in courses, joining support groups, or seeking guidance from mentors, investing in yourself and your dream life is a crucial aspect.

PS - if anyone needs to know anything about rooves on French houses, reach out - I can tell you A LOT.

3. Work on your personal compass

I would say more than just values take some time to reflect and understand who you are. You can work with a coach, but there are also plenty of resources out there to help you.

Values: To create a life that resonates with your authentic self, it's vital to identify your core values. Values serve as your compass, guiding your decisions and actions. Take time to reflect on what truly matters to you. Is it creativity, freedom, family, or adventure? Clarifying your values will help you make choices that align with your inner truth.

Triggers: I’m a big fan of knowing your weaknesses. If you understand where you are weak, you know where to focus to strengthen. So, here’s a wee tip to help with this. If someone says something or does something that triggers you, ask yourself: where does that come from? Because the better you understand yourself, the more power you have to shape your future.

4. No one feckin cares

If I have learnt anything over the last few years, it's that really - truly & honestly - no one gives a shit what you do. So why deprive yourself - back yourself, believe in yourself, and be aware enough of yourself to adapt and change where and when needed.

Taking ownership of your life means accepting responsibility for your choices, actions, and outcomes. Redesigning your life may involve challenging moments and setbacks, but viewing them as opportunities for growth and learning is essential. Embrace the journey, both its triumphs and tribulations, as they shape the narrative of your life.

5. Dream and dream big

I actually only did this one this year - but this has revolutionised everything for me. I sat and calculated what my running costs would be for my DREAM life; you are not looking at buying the property - its the upkeep, vets bills, 5 star holidays, etc etc…you are not calculating for your life now - this is your DREAM life. To give you a clue, mine is over £1m LOL.

Then look 3-5 years back and say, if I want to have that life in 3-5 years time - how am I going to get there? Often (certainly in my case), what I thought was going to generate income was not going to get me to my dream life - I needed to think differently.

Setting clear goals is essential when it comes to redesigning your life. Define your aspirations, both short-term and long-term, and create a roadmap to achieve them, because having targets in place will help you stay focused and motivated.

Remember that redesigning your life is an ongoing process. I have already changed my goalposts, so embrace flexibility and adaptability as you refine your path.

And here’s a non negotiable: practice self-compassion. Change can be challenging, and setbacks are a natural part of the process. Treat yourself with kindness and patience, just as you would a dear friend facing similar circumstances.

If you embrace this journey with an open heart and a spirit of curiosity, you'll discover the beauty of your own personal transformation and life. Doesn’t get better than that, right?

Emotional clutter can take up as much, sometimes more, space as physical clutter. It often goes unnoticed until it starts affecting your mental well-being and daily life. I want to explore the most common emotional clutter blocks and offer guidance on how to address each one.

1. My stuff keeps me in the past

It’s one thing to gold onto mementos, it’s another thing entirely when emotional attachments to possessions from the past prevent you from moving forward.

To overcome this block, reflect on why you're holding onto these items and consider whether they serve a purpose in your present life. Gradually let go of objects that tether you to the past.

2. My stuff tells me who I am

We attach too much emphasis on material things. At the end of the day, you can’t take any of them with you. We should not be identified by our possessions, believing they define us.

Reevaluate the idea that your belongings define you. Remember none of this stuff is going with you when you depart this world - sobering but reality. Focus on your values, experiences, and relationships as the true markers of your identity.

3. The stuff I'm avoiding

Unresolved emotional issues can manifest as clutter in our lives - it’s mine and you can’t get rid of it is underlying fear and control. Suffering from depression can also lead us to hanging onto possessions.

Address this block by confronting the emotions you're avoiding. Seek professional support to work through these issues and create a plan to declutter both emotionally and physically.

4. My fantasy stuff for my fantasy life

Accumulating items for a life you wish you had can lead to frustration and disappointment. You are also holding yourself in a ‘lack’ mindset.

Instead, focus on your current reality. Align your possessions with your present needs and aspirations. Let go of items that no longer serve your actual life.You will probably want new things when that dream life does manifest.

5. I'm not good with my stuff

Feeling overwhelmed by your belongings can lead to a sense of inadequacy - and depression.

To tackle this block, start with small decluttering tasks - even if it’s one thing a day. Create a system for organising your possessions and seek help from family, friends or professional organisers if needed. Remember that it's okay to ask for help. (I’d happily help - I love sorting chaos!)

6. Trapped with other people's stuff

Inherited or gifted possessions from others can become emotional clutter if they don't align with your values or needs.

Bin it or donate it as a first point. If you can’t, respectfully communicate your boundaries to friends or family and return or donate items that don't belong in your life.

7. The stuff I paid a lot for

We are all guilty of this. I cannot tell you how many pairs of designer heels I have that I won’t throw out because I might wear them one day, even though I haven’t worn heels in about 8 years. The sunk cost fallacy can keep you attached to items solely because of their financial value.

Recognise that the money is already spent, and holding onto something you don't need won't change that. Consider selling or donating these items to free up physical and emotional space. Also remember, they are not going with you to the next life…… I think my black D&G slingbacks are, though!

8. Just because/rainy day

Sometimes, we hoard items "just in case" or for a hypothetical future need.

Challenge yourself to be realistic about the likelihood of needing these items. Keep what's genuinely useful and let go of the rest.

Addressing emotional clutter is essential for maintaining your mental and emotional well-being. Recognise these emotional clutter blocks in your life and take proactive steps to declutter your mind and surroundings. Embrace mindfulness, such as deep breathing and seek support where needed.

Remember that letting go of emotional clutter creates space for personal growth and a healthier, happier life. (And you can’t take it with you - have I mentioned that?!)

It’s easy to lose sight of who we really are, in the midst of all this. But, rediscovering who you are, regardless of your age, is essential for your own happiness, sense of fulfilment and for leading a purposeful life.

We come into the world with nothing. We leave with nothing. And it’s our world around us that influences our values, beliefs, and goals. Through this, we learn toi fit into what everyone else is doing and we lose touch with who we are inside.

Rediscovering who you are, your identity, can lead to a happier, more fulfilling, more purposeful life.

Going on a journey of self-discovery is not something that is going to be easy - let’s face it, it’s not called the inner ‘work’ for nothing. It’s a journey that involves getting to know yourself on a deeper level. It's about understanding your thoughts, feelings, and motivations.

Here are some key steps to help you embark on this journey:

• Identify your emotions? Emotions are triggers, unhealed wounds. When you feel a certain emotion, notice it, sit with it and ask yourself what am I feeling? Why am I feeling this? Often your anger or frustration at something will root back to something that you were subjected to earlier in your life.

• Nurture your relationships. Engage in open and honest conversations with friends and loved ones to gain a better understanding of how you're perceived. You may not like it initially, but these insights can help you understand yourself and grow. I always think the concept of going into battle prepared is half the battle. I think it comes from Sun Tsu’s art of war - great book.

• Boost your emotional IQ (or EQ): This is by far the most important aspect for self-awareness. I will caveat this by saying as part of that process you need to practice empathy and self-reflection. Active listening and not getting defensive will help - remember, if you are getting defensive, identify the emotion and understand where it’s coming from and why you are feeling it. But then be kind to yourself - we are so hard on ourselves and we would never speak to another human the way we talk to ourselves. This is a long journey and one that never ends, so be patient with yourself and be kind to yourself.

• Practice meditation: Meditation is a powerful tool for self-discovery. It helps you quiet your mind, become more aware of your thoughts, and gain clarity about your values and priorities. I will caveat this - I can’t meditate - well, I can if it’s guided - but meditation just means quiet reflection, so you can journal, draw, go for a walk - these are all acts of meditation.

• Learn cognitive behavioural skills: Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques can help you identify and change negative thought patterns that may be holding you back. There are so many resources available online, of course if you want some professional help you can seek someone with qualifications to work with. (That’s not me)

Take Time to Heal:

Self discovery is a never ending journey, so it is important to be both patient and kind to yourself as you learn.

• Have a routine in place: Establishing a daily routine provides structure and stability in your life, reducing feelings of chaos and uncertainty. I have a morning routine that ensures I get every day off to a good start.

• Challenge any anxious thoughts: It’s easy when you get anxious to jump on the worry train - I’ve been there. Take a step back and ask yourself ‘is this really happening?’. If possible detach yourself from the situation. Tell yourself you are not in any physical danger - I often do this out loud, hearing your own voice can be reassuring and ask yourself, ‘ What is the worst that will happen? And is that likely to happen?’ Allowing yourself some space can help with the overwhelm. When you realise it’s your head racing, take six very slow breaths to regain a sense of balance in yourself.

• Practice emotional and physical well-being: Engage in activities that promote emotional and physical well-being,

  • Don't pile on pressure: Avoid setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. Embrace your imperfections.

  • Eat right: A balanced diet can significantly impact your mood and overall well-being. I try to cook everything from scratch as much as I can at home to ensure I am eating properly for my body and mind.

  • Get enough rest: Prioritise your sleep to ensure your mind and body function at their best. When I go to bed now, I charge my phone by the bedroom door. This has two benefits 1) I get a good night's sleep 2) I have to physically get out of bed when the alarm goes off

  • Take a break: Regular breaks, whether short walks or longer vacations, can rejuvenate your spirit. You are also moving your body - our bodies are not designed to sit on a chair for 8-10 hours a day. (Although I have been guilty of this myself).

  • Be tech-smart: Limit screen time and digital distractions to maintain a healthy work-life balance. Just put the bloody phone down. There is enough research now to show that constantly looking and checking our phones is putting our bodies in a continual state of missing out and causing a knock on fight or flight. You know yourself you’re missing nothing.

• The comparison complex: Comparing yourself to others can be detrimental to your self-esteem. Let’s face it - who cares what they’re doing? The only time they’ll be concerned about what you’re doing is when you are doing something better than them - in which case good for you! Embrace your uniqueness and remember that everyone's journey is different. Focus on your personal growth.

Rediscovering your true self, can be the cornerstone of a happy and purposeful life, and nurturing relationships, and practicing self-care are essential steps on this journey. Embrace your uniqueness, challenge the comparison complex, and prioritize your well-being. Remember, your identity is not static - it evolves with self-discovery and personal growth. So, take the time to find and understand who you really are, and you'll unlock a more fulfilled and authentic life.

Burnout is like that annoying guest who shows up uninvited, stays too long, and leaves you feeling drained.

Science bit: A 2023 Impact on Job Satisfaction survey found that 52% of employees were experiencing burnout, an increase from 43% the year before. In the US, workplace burnout is estimated to cost employers over $300 billion annually due to absenteeism, reduced productivity, and high turnover, according to the American Institute of Stress. But the cost to the individual is often far greater.

But burnout isn’t just about work; it’s about how we’re living. I know this first hand. It’s what happens when we sideline ourselves in the race to meet everyone else’s expectations.

Here’s the thing: life is too short to let burnout win. These are some tips I’ve gathered from all the books, podcasts, and those wise friends who always seem to have their lives together (or at least look like they do). But remember - ultimately, this all comes back to one thing: YOU.

1. Make better choices: Life is short. So keep it real: your health and happiness need to come first. You’ve heard the saying, “You’ve got 99 problems until your health goes, then you’ve only got one”? That hit me like a truck. No one else is going to prioritise your well-being. You have to make that call.

2. Perfectionism? Just say ‘no’: I have struggled with this a lot. Perfectionism has been my silent sidekick for way too long - approximately 50 years. It’s the root of exhaustion and endless self-doubt. But here’s what I’ve learned: embracing failure is freeing. It’s like shrugging off a heavy coat. You learn resilience, and resilience is what keeps you going when things get tough.

3. Breathe and roll with it: Life is fast. Work feels faster. And honestly, the stress is relentless. Want to know the simplest, cheapest burnout fix? Breathe. Close your eyes, pause, and just breathe. You might not solve world hunger at that moment, but you’ll feel a little less frantic - and that’s a win.

4. Silence your inner critic: You know that nagging voice in your head, the one that’s convinced you’re not enough? It’s a liar. There. I called it. Burnout loves to feed off self-doubt, but learning to trust your gut instead of your inner critic can change the game.

5. Happiness is a skill: Happiness, especially at work, doesn’t just happen; it’s a skill. Start your day with 3 things you're grateful for and end your day with thinking of all the good things that happened that day. This might sound a little Pollyanna at first, but trust me after a while, you WILL notice the difference.

6. Your Mind is a Prison: Burnout can trap you in a mental prison. The escape plan? Follow the Big 4: Get good sleep, drink water, make good food choices and move your body. Combine these with a happier disposition for a healthy balanced body and mind. Oh, and occasionally put the bloody phone down!

7. Live Your Life, Your Way: At the heart of it all, burnout comes from trying to live by someone else’s rules. When you chase someone else’s version of success, you lose sight of yourself. Reclaim your authenticity. Live your life, your way, and watch how things shift.

Gentle reminder: Burnout isn’t just annoying; it’s serious. If you’re struggling, reach out - whether it’s to a friend, family member, or professional. Sharing the load can make a world of difference.

Burnout doesn’t have to be the end of the story. It can be the beginning of a much better one - one where you put yourself first.

Sunday

I do love my Sunday mornings. I had a lovely day yesterday, I met a fellow coach who was also just starting out. We met at midday and the first time we looked at our watches it was almost 4pm - that’s a good chat! It's a quiet day today, and I need to recharge my batteries, so I'll stick some washing on, get some grocery shopping and do some cooking this afternoon. Cooking is an opportunity for me to creatively express myself and I enjoy it. Not sure whether I am any good or not, but I enjoy it.

Monday

Oooh I bought some new pens yesterday while I was out in Home Sense - I love that shop. I got loads done yesterday, and it was still a very relaxing and enjoyable day. I have decided to let the shenanigans at work ‘go’ today. I am focusing on myself. I am taking some of the work stuff too personally - that's the people pleaser in me. I can see my fear and control mindset driving the ship. If I control things, then I get results. If I get results, I get recognition. You can see where all of this comes from. I see problems and feel I need to fix them. I can fix them, I can manage everything. But the truth is, I can’t. Perfection doesn’t exist anywhere or in anyone. That’s an alien concept for my scared inner child. I am not here to fix the problems of the world. If people don’t listen or try the solutions being offered that is not a reflection of me. Listen to your own advice.

Just as I was thinking about how much I try to control things, life threw me a reminder of how little control we actually have - an ex messaged to tell me he has Parkinson’s. I felt immensely sad for him. He said he was ok with it and he just wanted me to know that whatever regrets he had in his life, our time together wasn’t one of them. That made me cry. A lot. It also made me appreciate my own life.

Tuesday

One of my friends called me and was on the phone for 3 hours last night. I hate talking on the phone. Like whatsapp me or visit me in the flesh - but not the phone. And not for 3 feckin hours. But she needed a chat, so I dug in and listened. The problem is it then took me ages to get to sleep, so this morning when the alarm went off at 6am, I couldn’t get up. (Yes, I set my alarm for 6am to allow me a slow start to the day - I love it).

I have a load of coaching calls today at work. To be honest, I really enjoy this part of my job. I also have a call this afternoon with someone to help me with my website for my own business. That’s exciting.

How do I feel this morning? I feel f**king great. Going to squeeze in a quick meditation before I get ready for work.

Wednesday

It's a mild chilly morning. The first signs of autumn are approaching. I was awake from 1am to 4am - no idea what was going on. My head was fairly empty, I wasn’t worrying about anything - I was just awake. But man, I’ll be tired today. I started burning my new candle I bought when I went to see my life coach a few weeks back. Sweet jasmine. God, it's yum.

Lots of feelings coming up today, mainly about perception from friends and particularly family about what I want to do in my business. I feel people are used to seeing me work for big tech, and the thought of doing coaching and ‘telling horoscopes’ as one brother put it, makes me feel mocked and insecure. (Although to be fair, if I could have a job writing horoscopes and not working in tech, I know which one I’d take).I know they love me, it’s not about that, but it’s hard enough to go out on your own without your nearest and dearest knocking you. Although, to be fair, I probably need the prep for going out to face the real world. YIKES.

Thursday

Jeeeees, I really struggle to get up on Thursday mornings. Like really struggling. The broken sleep recently is flooring me. (I prioritise my sleep - so I leave my phone by the door away from my bed, so I get a good night's sleep) - something my fiery Aries nature really struggles with. I had a look at my north node astrology last night - I think I just wanted reassurance that I was doing the right thing. I just want people to live their best lives and be happy ….. and that includes me.

I just lifted my head from my journal and saw the lilac light from the sun outside reflected on the kitchen walls. I breathe and try to absorb the beautiful autumnal lighting while mentally rehearsing not wanting to plot the demise of a few colleagues. ‘I am a professional. I am a professional. I am a professional.’ You got this, Ciara.

Friday

Pilates this morning (- that I mentally pronounce pie-lattes in my head, so now you will too. You’re welcome!)There were a few moves I could have taken the easier option but didn’t.

I really am enjoying my pilates classes and feeling so much stronger. I pause for a minute to absorb the moment. It’s silent. I live in the city centre. I can hear the hum of the fridge, a gentle hum outside of traffic and the sound of my pen on the page. But other than that, it's deadly silent. It’s so lovely. I contemplate the idea of running a blog series based on my journal - so many friends and colleagues ask me what I journal about and I say ‘whatever comes into my head - no structure’. So I think sharing it as a blog will hopefully help more people to consider journaling. It's very freeing, and non judgemental - just you and your journal.

I got the photos from my content shoot for social - god I hate my turkey neck. Honestly, we’re our own worst critics. I’m out here squinting at a perfectly smiley face, but all I can see is my turkey neck. Maybe I should start wearing polo necks all year-round? Anyway,it's Friday!

Saturday

Short entry today. I am off to Glastonbury and Wells today for a wee day out with my oldest friend in the world. I am looking forward to spending the day with her. Trying to put little day trips in here and there at weekends to places I have never been before. It’s a glorious day outside….. wee walk up to the Tor and then have some lunch. What's not to love!

Overall summary of the week

Zen (1) to hothead scale (10): probably about 4.

Themes: Work frustrations, finding the calm in the noise and my turkey neck

Key Takeaway: You can’t control everything, turkey necks happen, and pondering if my Pilates instructor is secretly trying to kill me—professionally, of course. Ha.